Thursday, June 5, 2014

Loser Love Diaries 28: the Huffington Post says I done good!

Just yesterday, I wrote about the things I thought I did right and wrong. Very ironically, this article from the Huffington Post, mirrors just about everything I did on the date.

Let's take the tips the 'Post recommends one-for-one and compare what I did.

"1. If you meet a woman and you go out on a date and had a decent time, call her and ask her out again." Check. 

"2. Ask a woman at least three questions about herself. " Duh. It's not snobbish of me to say I'm a rather good conversationalist because I rarely talk about myself unless asked. I probably asked her 20 questions about herself! (Although, maybe at a certain point, it's a bit much... [Oh, who am I kidding, I always doubt myself! Well, that comes with having so little success with women, I'm always trying to pinpoint what ingredient of the recipe is missing!])

"3. If your best friend is a single woman, you will need to explain that dynamic at some point." For better or for worse, that never came up in the conversation.

"4. If you have ever been married or are still married by law, that's important information to share. On date #1." I'm a 21-year-old single guy. Always have been. Oh, not the 21 part, but the part about being single. Not really something to worry about...

"5. Pay for the first date." This was even in my list of things I did right.

"6. Don't shovel food in your mouth." We didn't eat, but given I was raised by a fine woman, I really doubt this is something of concern for me.

"7. Smile. Laugh. Smile more." I smile, laugh and smile more when I am with people all the time. I enjoy peoples' company, indiscriminant if I want to be their friend or something more. In fact, the one I was with turned red on multiple occasions. 

"8. If you have more than one cat, you may want to save that nugget until date #7." Never had a cat. Don't plan on getting one.

"9. If you're super-close with your mom and sisters, that's sweet and most women will find that sensitive and endearing." Perhaps forgot to mention that I take after my mother more than anyone else, but as I mentioned earlier, I prefer to talk about the person with whom I am talking to keep conversation flowing and it was also not pertinent to the conversation we were having. So that's a "no."

"10. Again, men, CALL HER." HELLO? I did, bitch. If you never want anything to do with me ever again during your entire life on this planet, why give me your number, walk me to my door and laugh, smile and turn red so when you were with me so much? Just trying to be nice? That's a bit too nice and clearly, mislead me into thinking you liked me. 

Don't play with guys' hearts. Especially desperate (and as I've been told, sweet, good-looking [not my opinions, so don't get angry at me]) guys like me who really mean everything they say and do. Oh, and important side note, never had anyone ever significant in his love life. 

Get it?!

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